Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
