I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
