u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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