Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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