Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
