I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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