found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize