Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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