Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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