I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize
