The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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