i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
