Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
