whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize