So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
