just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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