so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize