He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
