i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
