just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
