Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
