do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
There's always time for handjobs
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
