smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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