I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
