is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
