try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
