I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This house was built for laser tag.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
