they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
