What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
