forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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