We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
