oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
