Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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