If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
