Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
