I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
