I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
