VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
