New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
