I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
