she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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