just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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