dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
