Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
