A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
