Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she peed on how many people?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
