well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
do nipples grow back?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
