Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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