8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize