i barfeds in our rink
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
