Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
