i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
