can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
