A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nobody cheats on THIS.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
