You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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