Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I need help removing her.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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