How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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