Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
