I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
