I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
