I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
