Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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