What tipped you off? The sombrero?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
