What did we do last night that was yellow?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
