I have demons in me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
